


It's Not My Fault She's Beautiful

by fauchevalent



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Drug Use, F/F, Female-Centric, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Swearing, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:33:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1899180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauchevalent/pseuds/fauchevalent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophmore Cosima Niehaus doesn't need anything, not her useless parents, not her weed, nothing but her, her best friend Tony, and the open road.<br/>She soon learns she can't close everything out when the French exchange program rolls around the same time as her friend Beth's two year death anniversary.<br/>----<br/>A multi-chapter Cophine high school AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ice Cream and Anniversaries

_I'm getting tired of being told to live in the moment,_   
_when all I want is my bed and the sounds of the ocean._   
_With hoods pulled tight and our sleeves covering our hands._   
_It's getting harder to sleep and we never seem to dream._   
_It's getting harder to sleep, we're always tossing and turning._

"Shit," Cosima grumbles, stirring at the familiar sound of her alarm clock beside her. Beside her, her phone beeps and vibrates, and the name  _TONY_ floats across her screen. "Eugh." Despite her exhaustion, Cosima picks up the cell and sighs, managing to tap the  _ANSWER_ and hold it to her ear, mumbling a "Hello?"

"Hey, sleepyhead." Tony's voice echoes into her ear, the grin ever present in his tone. 

"Damn, T- you're screaming." Cosima grimaces, pushing herself up in her bed. Her sheets slip down around her bare ankles and Cosima embraces the warm bay air. 

"I'm half whispering, Cos," Tony chuckles, "It's probably your phone volume, doofus." At this idea, Cosima tilts her phone and finds the volume buttons, clicking it down (she notices it's all the way up and is lost as to why), and notes it's a much calmer tone when Tony speaks again. "So, how's this Sunday, my little nerd?"

"It's boring as hell, Ton'." Cosima says loudly, and her Mom pops in with a shushing finger. "Sorry." Cosima mouths, and in a more hushed tone, she adds, "Seriously." Her Mother smiles and offers a thumbs up.

"We're off to work, sweetie!" 

"Kay, Ma!" Cosima shouts.

"Be safe, don't be out later than eleven and don't forget to eat!"

"I know, Ma, see ya later Dad!" Cosima turns back to the phone with a grumble. "T, what're you doin' today?"

"Now  _that's_ my lil' nerd." The grin reveals itself again, clearer than ever, and there's a bumping on his end. Tony shouts something incomprehensible and something else slams before he returns to the receiver. "Hey, uh, Cosima?" Tony's voice is audibly tightened, his words shivering. 

"What's up, Tony?" Cosima asks carefully, though she attempts to make it sound laid back. She stands, heading for her wardrobe across the room (Cosima's only wearing a tank top and underwear this beautiful morning, but she senses that she'll need to go see Tony. She wants to, anyways.)

"Uh- I'll... I'll call you back in a couple, yeah?" There's an urgency in his voice that worries Cosima, but she nods, clutching the phone tightly. 

"I mean, sorry- uh, yeah. That's cool, Ton', take all the time you need." Cosima pauses, then she adds, "Skype me, actually. I want to see your face." There's a long, heavy pause that both of them linger for until Tony replies. "Sure, yeah. I'll video you soon."

"Until then, T."

"Until then, lil' nerd."

Cosima and Tony hang up together, leaving Cosima's phone tingling in her palm. She tosses it back onto her bed, flicking through her clothes and landing on a loose cropped tank, hoping it'll let in some of the warm San Fran air, and some shorts. She comes up with a pair of converse, and slips into it all, heading for her mirror. Cosima flattens out the shirt, turning in the mirror until she remembers her earrings. Cosima comes up short, with a pair of diamond studs that was a gift from her grandmother (who Cosima admired deeply), but only one cartilage cuff. She secures it all anyway, the gunmetal cuff gripping her ear tightly and, admittedly, uncomfortably. Cosima grabs her glasses, shoves them on her face, and grabs a hair tie to secure the mess of dreads atop her head. As if Tony knows she's ready, Cosima's laptop starts to ring. She looks in the mirror, forces a smile, and lifts her chin bravely before sitting, cross-legged, on her bed. 

She takes a moment to examine the shadows of her friend's face, searching for remnants of the arguments she heard earlier. Finding nothing, Cosima is satisfied and brings the practiced grin back to her lips.

"Hey, T."

Tony rubs his face, and the little patch of a beard he has growing on his chin. "Hey, Cos." His own practiced smile appears, all fanged teeth and open jaws. "How goes it?" He asks, searching among the piles of things on his dimly lit bedside table and coming up, finally, with a hair tie. He secures his long hair, leaning forward as he does. As the hair is swept from his neck, Cosima covers a little gasp with cupped hands, but she can't hide her wide eyes. After a long period of silence, punctuated by sharp intakes of breath on Cosima's end, she speaks.

"Holy shit." She whispers, and the bruise is darker than Tony's bulging sweatshirt, a deep purple pattered with red and strokes of light yellow. 

He bites his tongue, but his entire body is shaking and Tony is working on not letting his eyes water. "Tony, cross the street and sit at the bench." Cosima orders calmly. "I'll see you in ten." 

He begins to shake his head, and Cosima moves to yell, so Tony sighs and holds up his hands in surrender. "I'll pack a bag." He says, and the call of angry words send him off. Cosima closes her laptop with a small sigh, packing a bag of her own. She stands up and sprints for her parent's extra car- somehow they think calling it an  _'emergency vehicle'_ and not  _Cosima's_ _vehicle_ will make her use it less.

They're wrong.

She hops in, speeding down back lanes and running a hand through her hair as she turns on the radio.

"Fuck."

* * *

 

Tony and Cosima are sitting on the bricks next to Swensen's, sharing a swirled cone and squinting into the sunny sky. The car is packed a little ways up along the sidewalk in a puddle of Gatorade, and Cosima is sighing towards Tony's bruise, clearly anxious. 

"Hey, lil' nerd." Tony snaps around her face and chuckles lightly. "How goes it?"

"Fuck off." Cosima moans angrily, but she catches herself and wraps her fingers around his wrist, whispering incoherently. 

"Hey, hey, hey, Cos'-"

"Fucking asshole." Cosima wipes a stray tear and grabs Tony by the shoulders. "Move in with me."

"What?"

"They're assholes who don't understand that they have a wonderful, handsome, charming son-"

"Whoah, you flirting?" Tony teases, but Cosima sees the appreciation in his eyes. 

"Hey, do it. Move in with me, T. My parents love you, they've always wanted a son."

"You can hardly stand your parents, they're never home." Tony enters in, narrowing his eyes.

"T- move in with me."

"Fuck it, I'll live in your lovely guest house." He's teasing, but Cosima is nodding. "Why do we even have that? We never have guests! Stay there. We'll go to the store today, get you some more clothes. What'd you pack?"

Tony opens his bag- there's his laptop, phone, a handful of cash, cigarettes, and his testosterone. 

"Good. Now, clothes, you little shit." Cosima's voice has lifted into a pleasant ring, and she shoves rest of the ice cream towards Tony, letting him finish it as she beeps the car lock. "Of course." Tony chuckles, heading into the passenger seat.

Her voice is caught in her throat as her eyes are stuck on a passing car, a small white car that she can see Alison through the tinted windows of. She's crying and somehow, Cosima manages to tear her eyes away as she remembers why- Beth.

Beth passed away two years ago next week. She gets into the car, turning on the radio and leaning back. Tony asks what's wrong, but Cosima ignores him with a small whimper and she starts to drive.

" _Fuck._ "


	2. Honor Her

Cosima drags herself into the cafeteria, forcing a smile as she takes a seat on the bench in the corner. Beside her, Tony takes a seat and across from them, Sarah and Alison sit side by side. At the connecting table, Scott and Fee sit across from each other. The lunch tables are quiet, excepting the rustling of lunch bags and the chewing of food. Finally, Scott speaks up.

"So, how was the Science exam?" 

Cosima nods toward him, her smile fading. "Not terrible, you know?" Sarah, who is in Cosima's Science class, shrugs. "It wasn't actually half bad." She enforces weakly. Slowly, Tony begins to stand up, done with his lunch, and as he heads for the trash cans, Sarah leans in. "So you're helpin' Ton' out, Cos'?" Cosima nods silently, her eyes wandering around the cafeteria and nibbling on a fry.

"Hey, Cosima- want some of my chips?" Alison offers, speaking for the first time all lunch.

"Nah." 

"Okay."

It's quiet again as Tony slips back beside Cosima, and Cosima reaches over and steals one of Alison's chips anyway. Felix takes a deep breath from beside Alison, and turns to her, straddling the bench. "Ali, sweetie-"

"I don't-"

"We  _have_ to, Ali. We have to _talk_ about it, at least."

"I  _can't_." 

Felix seems to consider this before biting his tongue and leaning a hand on Alison's knee. Alison wriggles free from his grip and envelops his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together. "Fee?"

"Mhm?"

"I want to give her something."

"Like flowers, sweetheart?" Felix asks, leaning Alison's head on his shoulder.

"Like a celebration of life, or something. I don't know, it sounds stupid."

"No, sweetheart, it sounds  _wonderful_." Felix smiles softly, but his eyes go immediately to Tony and Cosima, as if to say  _'back me up on this one, guys'_ and Cosima pipes up, "Yeah, Alison. It sounds really sweet."

"But I want to  _honor_ her. I don't want to pretend like she's still here- it shouldn't be  _sweet_." 

Cosima grimaces.

"It's good, honestly." She tries again, and Tony, speechless, nods.

"You think so, Sarah?" Sarah, who has been off in her own world, trying to stay calm, is blown away that they care about her opinion.

"Uh-yeah. I 'fink it sounds really honorable, yeah?" 

"Okay." Alison seems to manage to become more sure of herself. "Okay, yes. This is okay. This is, dare I say, good."

"I'd say good." Tony finally says, and Cosima nods. Sarah enforces the opinion with a rough shake of her head, Scott smiles politely, and Fee strokes Alison's head encouragingly.

"Thank you." Alison scooches out from Felix's grip, and off the bench. She leaves in the state they all seem to be in- confused, dreary, and dream-like.

* * *

"And the Foreign Exchange program is coming up, so for all you students who are getting new friends, come afterschool tomorrow to pick them up!" Cosima shakes out of her daze enough to remember that  _she_ signed up for the exchange program. As the other students file out, she gathers her books. "No, no, noo." She shakes her dreads and the professor seems to notice her discomfort, so she motions Cosima up.

"Miss Niehaus?"

"I-uh... I can't have a stranger following me around, you know? Not this week, at least..." She shoves her pencil through her ponytail and sighs.

"So you  _don't_ want to do the foreign exchange program?" _  
_

"Oh god, no, no! I definitely want to do that, go to France and all, totes, it's just... uh..."

"You want to go to this girl's house, but want to leave her homeless in a foreign country?"

"Holy watershed, um-  _no_ , I have- this week- _Beth_ -"

"I knew we could count on you, Cosima."

She heads home, confused as to how she was roped into bringing home a girl the week of Beth's two year death anniversary.


End file.
